Skepticism is Not Much Fun (Week 4 Post 3)

There are times in my life when I have needed something. I have had a space thatneeds to be filled. A great portion of tat has recently been filled with family,and school, and even a job that I love but at times in the past it has beenmartial arts, working out, reading, writing, AA, word games, vegetarianism,facebook... These objects fulfill a temporary need, or perhaps by indulging inthese activities I am satisfying some psychological or emotional need. However,unlike religion, none of these activities (AA aside- because really AA has itsown religious connotations but going into it as an agnostic, they really try tomake you feel like you still have a place and don't have to call your "higherpower" God. I was okay with this...) asked me to compromise my common sense ormy ability to think for myself. None of them encouraged me to feel helpless orto become wholly dependent on the activity in order to be fulfilled (again, AAmay be on the fence on this one, as many participants do tend to replace oneaddiction with another and never seem to relinquish that need or find a way tofill that void). Most of the things that we do, even the relationships we have,can be walked away from with a sense of having gained something, or learnedsomething. Martial arts for example, gave me a sense of strength that lastedeven when I stepped out of the dojo, even when I stopped progressing in belts,even when I stopped going. Granted, the sense of community does not reallycontinue, I always feel like an outsider when I go by the karate studio tovisit, like a guest in a place that I used to call home. For five years, ShaolinKenpo and the eastern philosophies had filled my heart, my mind, my thoughts andgave me purpose during a time when I felt lost. And yes, it cost me $125.00 amonth but I always had a place to go, when I was happy, when I was sad, when Iwas angry or frustrated. Now, would it have made any difference to me if Laneuncovered that our Shaolin forms really did not originate in China, and thatsome guy in Irvine, calling himself Master Kevin, was making all of this up ashe went along? Probably not. Because I still felt great whenever I left there,whenever I went there, whenever I thought about it. Just like the hierarchy ofthe Eckancar, I progressed in rank, other students began to respect me, I becamean instructor, people came to me with questions and I had the answers. It feltgood. I imagine that this is similar to the cult experience. Now, what makes onepositive and one negative? Hmm, even after reading the Fubbi and Gakko articlethis is a difficult question. I understand what Lane is saying, that people havea right to know the truth, and I wholly agree, but does the truth make adifference in something that satisfies an emotional need? Do I feel like I wasrobbed out of my $125 a month? Did Dodie feel like she had wasted her money andtime believing in Eckancar? No, the insecurity and lack of direction had been"healed" by something, not something supernatural or divine, but something fromwithin. Each of us learned something, about life, about nature, about ourselves,and this happiness, this confidence, this sense of self emerges and we aregrateful, whatever the source.