More Than Meets The "I"

The "I" believes itself to be more than it really is. We, as humans, tend to believe that there MUST be some reason for us to be here, to be conscious, to exist. Something outside of our skin and bones that has a higher purpose, that demands that we ask why; demands that we learn the truth about the nature of our existence and our consciousness. There must be some reason, especially for those God-fearing individuals , why would God put us here with this complex reasoning ability, yet give us no reason for being here in the first place? The problem I face is that every seemingly unexplainable event that has occured on this earth since the beginning of time has been explained away by man in the way that makes the most sense to him, whether based in fact or not. It seems it is easier to believe in nonsense than to believe in nothing at all. Therefore, we satisfy our brain with a temporary solution, until a better one is made available to us.

I find it difficult to accept that we are nothing more than neurons firing, but not because it is such a bizarre notion but because it is a heartbreaking one. My logical brain says, "Of course we are just physical beings, there is nothing about us that cannot be broken down into physical components." but my emotional brain says "how could all of this uniqueness, all of these thoughts, feelings, memories, opinions, be just a part of brain function that dies along with the rest of us? What is the point of that? " As I reflect and attempt to grasp some sort of understanding of how and when this consciousness comes about, I tend to turn most to my children as a point of reference. I watch Michael learn by observation, education and experience on a daily basis (he is 3 and a half). There is nothing that he knows outside of what he has seen (in school, movies, watching others), been taught, or physically experienced on his own. "Michael, be careful climbing on that, if you fall it will hurt..." He falls, it hurts, he learns, next time he is more careful- a neural connection has been made. No two people will have exactly the same combination of all three of these elements (observation, education and experience). So, however depressing or heartbreaking it may be, I can totally see how an individual's perceptions, what they observe and how, what they are taught and how and what they experience (and how) could entirely shape their consciousness and their uniqueness and who they are.